


My Cat Wants Me Dead

by Hellyjellybean



Series: Creature Comforts [5]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Armitage Hux is a Jerk, Based on my own murderous cat, Ben and Rey are just work colleagues... yeah right, Ben fears for his life, Domestic Fluff, Dont ever be late with Hux's dinner, F/M, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Fun, Funny, Humour, Hux does not like Ben, Hux is Ben's cat, Hux the cat is cute but deadly, Kissing, One Shot, Reylo - Freeform, Romance, Rose makes an appearance - Freeform, Sort of a GingerRose vibe..., To make you smile, bit of fun, happy reylo ending as told through the eyes of Hux the cat, no one believes him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:15:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23629858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hellyjellybean/pseuds/Hellyjellybean
Summary: Hux the cat does not like his owner Ben. In fact he hates him. In truth, he loathes him with every fluffy fibre of his being. He wants to rid himself of his odious owner once and for all. No one believes Ben when he tells them of his pet's murderous intentions, so he sets out to try and convince his work colleague Rey. And that's the only reason he invites her to his place. Because he wants her to see what a horrible cat Hux is. Not because he likes her or anything because that would be crazy...Reylo Kitty Fun. Enjoy!
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo
Series: Creature Comforts [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1715281
Comments: 68
Kudos: 234





	My Cat Wants Me Dead

‘My cat is plotting to kill me,’ Ben announced. 

Rey laughed.

‘There’s no way that’s true, Ben. Cat’s are very loving creatures.’ 

‘No, I swear, it’s one hundred percent true. He wants me dead. I can see it in his soulless eyes. He looks at me like I’m an obstacle in his way, something to be ‘dealt’ with,’ Ben shuddered. 

Rey giggled again.

‘You’re being dramatic.’ 

‘See for yourself, come by my place tonight.’ 

Rey chewed on her pencil and eyed him suspiciously. 

‘Is this all a ruse to get me to go out with you, Ben Solo?’ 

Ben looked shocked. ‘No, this is a cry for help. I need someone other than me to see the level of pure hatred I’m dealing with on a day to day basis here. I might need a character witness one day.’ 

Rey grinned. ‘Okay, good. Because we’re colleagues and we work very well together and I wouldn’t want to jeopardise that by attempting to start up a relationship or anything crazy like that,’ she said glancing shyly at Ben.

Ben cleared his throat. ‘No, I wouldn’t want that either. That’s why I’m literally just going to show you my cat and then kick you out.’ 

Rey laughed. ‘If it’s that bad why don’t you just take him back to the shelter?’ 

‘I can’t. I would feel bad. I made a commitment and I need to see it through.’ 

‘That’s sweet, Ben.’ Rey said with a blush. When he caught her eye, she looked down at her page again. 

‘You’ll see tonight, I’ll make you dinner,’ Ben said gently. 

Rey brightened. ‘Great, I’ll be there at seven.’ 

‘Excellent, but it’s not a date. Just two friends hanging out,’ Ben confirmed. 

Rey nodded. ‘Yes, definitely not a date.’ 

They both looked down at their work and smiled. 

**********

  
Hux licked his ginger coloured fur and growled. The giant ball thing in the sky wasn’t there anymore but the human had not returned to feed him. Where was he? Being a cat, time was a concept that alluded him but he knew it was past his usual dinner time. His angry, empty stomach told him that. 

Finally the door opened and the large, annoying man entered. Hux glared at him from his perch on the window sill. The man nervously approached him.

‘Hey Hux, how are you? Ouch!’ 

Hux swiped at the man’s sausage shaped fingers drawing blood. He purred with satisfaction. 

_That will teach you human. Do not be late with my dinner ever again!_

The man moved through to the kitchen and poured Hux’s food, placing the saucer on the floor. Hux jumped down from his lofty position and trotted over to the plate. He would have prefered to be fed on a higher surface which was much more fitting to his stature, but he would make do for the moment. He was too hungry to complain. 

Besides, there was plenty of time to get back at the human later. Attacking his toes while he slept was one of Hux’s favourite pastimes, or peeing on the couch cushions and watching the human try to figure out which ones. Spoiler alert, the answer was always all of them. 

‘We’re going to have a guest tonight, Hux. Her name is Rey. Please be nice to her. I want this to go well.’ 

Hux finished his food. The human was mumbling about something but he couldn’t understand a word. He was sure even if he could understand, it wouldn’t be important. Humans were only useful for feeding and petting, if you liked that sort of thing, which Hux did not. He detested being touched, especially by this brute of an owner. 

Hux finished his food and moved into the bedroom to engage in his favourite after dinner activity, wiping his butt hole on all of the humans bedding. After a little while the human joined him in the bedroom. Hux growled to show his annoyance but the human ignored him and started rummaging through his various coverings, then he began to change. Hux left the room. He did not want to see the human's naked flesh again. He was trying to keep his dinner down for goodness sake. 

Later on, the human was cooking something that smelt delicious and Hux was convinced it must be a special apology supper for him, so he was furious when there was a knock at the door and a female human entered. After greeting one another, the human’s sat down together to eat his food!

The nerve! 

To show his displeasure, Hux positioned himself under the dining room table and used the male human’s leg as a scratching post. He screamed which was satisfying enough, but as an added bonus he also dropped some of his delicious food on the floor. Hux lapped his prize up with an eager tongue and a smug purr. 

_That will teach you…_ he thought to himself. 

***********

  
‘Do you see? Do you see what I’m living with?’ Ben shouted.

‘Wow, that was pretty brutal,’ Rey agreed.

Rey looked at Hux who was now sitting on the window sill staring at Ben. It was a pretty intense look and the cat had not blinked in quite some time. Rey shivered. 

‘Okay, that is one creepy cat,’ she said.

‘Thank you! I knew I wasn’t going crazy.’ 

‘Nope. I thought you were being a bit over the top before, but if I lived with that thing? I’d definitely be keeping one eye open while I slept.’ 

‘What should I do?’ Ben asked desperately. 

Rey twisted up her face, then she smiled.

‘I think I have a solution. I have a friend. She takes in all sorts of stray animals. We call her the animal whisperer. She has a gift. A true calling. I bet she would take him in.’ 

Ben leapt out of his seat and embraced Rey. She was caught off guard at first, but then she wrapped her arms around him. 

‘Thank you,’ he said. 

Rey smiled.

‘You’re welcome. Thank you for dinner. It was delicious.’ 

Ben pulled away and they both looked at each other. 

‘How’s your leg?’ Rey asked.

Ben winced. ‘It hurts.’ 

Rey looked sympathetic and reached out a hand to touch his cheek.

‘Poor baby,’ she said. 

Ben’s mouth fell open and his eyes dilated. A moment later, his lips were on hers and Rey didn’t hesitate to kiss him back. Ben pulled her out of her seat without parting their lips, and led her to the bedroom. Rey jumped up and wrapped her legs and arms around him. Ben groaned and clutched her ass as he held her against him. 

‘Close the door,’ Rey mumbled against his mouth as they entered the bedroom, and Ben slammed the door firmly shut behind him with his foot before they fell into a heap on the bed together. 

**********

  
Hux gave himself a bath while the humans busied themselves in the other room. They were being decidedly noisy. It was exceedingly annoying and inconsiderate. He could barely concentrate, and had completely forgotten which couch cushions he had already peed on!

He laughed to himself as he thought about earlier when he had dragged his butt all over the sheets. The same sheets were now rolling all over. _Fools._ Hux hadn’t the slightest idea why humans sometimes engaged in play fighting. To him, it was a completely meaningless pastime. Even as a kitten when his brothers and sisters had tried to engage him in the pointless activity, he had just looked at them in disgust. Such a waste of time. It required no intelligence whatsoever. 

The humans re-emerged during Hux’s fifth nap time so he knew it was very late. Hux looked up at them from his position on the couch. The two of them were looking in the large cold white thing where food was kept. The female human seemed to be wearing one of the male human‘s coverings. The male human wore very little. A needless vulgar display. Something that was unfortunately very common with this particular human. Hux decided he would very much like something to eat and was willing to compromise his pride somewhat in order to get what he wanted. 

He jumped down from the sofa and wound himself around the female's legs, then meowed rather loudly. The display had the desired effect and the female crouched down to pet him and coo nice sounds. It was mildly enjoyable if somewhat patronising. The female tore up some chicken and placed it on his plate. The transaction was complete and there was no need to continue with the embarrassing charade. Hux moved to his food plate and began to eat. 

The humans disappeared into the bedroom again and once all the chicken was safely within his stomach, Hux returned to his position on the couch. After clicking the material a number of times, he decided it was comfortable enough to sleep on and dozed off. 

**********

  
At daybreak, Hux made sure to wake the male human by loudly meowing in his ear. As always, the human chose to ignore him so Hux moved on to the bottom of the bed and waited until the human's toes were visible. As soon as the vulnerable digits poked out of the safety of the sheets, Hux bit into them with gusto drawing a delicious howl of pain from their owner. There was a lot of shouting after that. Hux didn’t understand why the human thought he was the injured party, when it was Hux who had been the one with the disgusting big toe in his mouth! 

Eventually the female fed him and then the two of them dressed and left to go wherever it was that humans went all day. Hux didn’t care. The important thing was they had left. 

Hux started his daily routine, he peed in the plant pot and threw up a hairball in both of the humans' slippers. He was quite proud of that. Usually he could only muster one hairball so to pull up two straight away like that was quite a special moment for him. He licked his fur until it shone, and knocked as many objects off as many surfaces as he could find. Some of them smashed as they hit the ground and the thrill that ran through him as the sound met his pointed ears was delightful. 

By the time the human arrived home that evening, he was quite exhausted. He still enjoyed the roar the human made when he put his feet into his fur ball filled slippers though. It was a charming bellow. Hux would cherish it eternally. 

Later, while Hux was pondering how easy it would be to use the nearby cable cord to choke the male human who sat idly reading a book and breathing far too loudly for Hux’s liking, there was a knock at the door. Hux looked over with interest.

The same female human as yesterday entered and she licked the male human’s face. Then another human entered. Hux blinked at this new female. He sniffed the air. She smelt delicious. The new human came over to him. She was talking. He didn’t understand her words, but he liked the sound of her voice. She put out her hand, and he didn’t object when she scratched behind his ear. In fact, it was a relief to meet someone who understood how he liked to be petted on the rare occasions when he allowed it. Hux purred happily. He wasn’t sure he had ever purred happily before. It was a new sensation for him, but not an unwelcome one. 

The new human moved away and sat on the sofa. Hux decided he would very much like to continue receiving ear scratches so he followed her and jumped up onto the couch and much to his delight the new human continued to offer him the attention he had sought. 

Hux had never sat on a human's lap before, but he decided he wanted to try. He tentatively placed a paw on the female's leg, and when she didn’t object, he moved his whole body onto her thighs and began to pad. He was impressed that it didn’t take a lot of padding before he felt comfortable enough to sit down. The female stroked her hands down his body and it felt so nice that he let his guard down and drifted off to sleep. Hux didn’t like humans but he decided that he liked this one. There was something special about her and she smelt… tasty. He purred in her lap. Yes, this female was acceptable. Maybe his human would allow him to keep her, if he asked nicely… or if that failed he could always threaten to shred the curtains if his demands weren’t met. 

**********

  
‘This is unbelievable,’ Ben said as he watched Rose subdue Hux. 

Rose shrugged. ‘I’ve always been good with animals. Just something about me makes them calm.’ 

‘You’re amazing,’ Ben said.

Rose smiled.

‘He seems to have really taken to me, so I’m happy to take him with me tonight.’ 

‘You are a lifesaver, I can’t thank you enough. Let me give you a donation towards your animals,’ Ben said, reaching for his wallet. 

‘Oh, that isn’t necessary but it would be very much appreciated. I do have a lot of mouths to feed!’ 

Rey beamed up at Ben and Rose smiled at them both. Ben handed over a wad of cash and Rose placed it in her jacket pocket. 

‘Well, I’ll get out of your hair,’ Rose announced standing up. Hux let out a little growl at being suddenly dethroned without warning. 

Rose picked up the carrier she had brought with her and placed it on the sofa next to Hux with the door open.

‘Well sweetie? Would you like to come home with me?’ she asked Hux. 

To everyone’s surprise, Hux meowed and trotted straight into the cat carrier. Rose closed the door and picked it up.

‘Well, I’ll see you guys soon. You can come visit him anytime,’ she offered. 

‘Thanks I’ll keep that in mind,’ Ben said as he showed Rose out. He closed the door behind her and wiped his brow.

‘I can’t believe the spawn of Satan is gone,’ he exclaimed, putting his arms around Rey and pulling her towards him.

‘He wasn’t that bad,’ Rey laughed. 

‘Seriously, a few more days with that cat and you would have probably found my lifeless body in the bath with a toaster floating around next to me.’ 

‘Oh stop it! He just didn’t like you very much. He wasn’t trying to kill you.’ 

Ben looked unconvinced.

‘Anyway, we’re alone now…’ he said with a quirk of his eyebrow.

Rey smirked. ‘So we are, whatever shall we do?’ 

Ben grinned and picked her up in his arms carrying her through to the bedroom. Rey shrieked with delight and wound her arms around his neck. 

‘I’ll always be thankful to that cat for giving me a reason to finally pluck up the courage to invite you round here,’ Ben said as he leaned in to kiss her. 

Rey smiled. ‘Me too.’ 

Ben lowered her down onto the bed and positioned himself above her. 

‘But this apartment is only big enough for one predator,’ he murmured before capturing her lips with a burning kiss. 

**********

  
_A few days later…_

The new human was called Rose. Hux had made a particular effort to learn her name. He disliked referring to her as human. It seemed so impersonal. 

Hux was very happy in his new home. There were more additional pets than he would have liked, but it was very clear from day one when Rose allowed him to sleep on her bed where the other animals were forbidden to tread, that he was her particular favourite and he liked that very much. So he had decided to stay. 

It was very clear that Rose needed him a great deal. He knew it was a terribly welcome comfort for her to be able to pet him and feed him and talk to him and have him sleep on her lap each evening and next to her each night. It was most advantageous that he also appeared to enjoy all of those activities. Yes, Hux thought he could be very happy living with Rose for the rest of his life. 

But a few weeks later, there was a knock at the door and a man entered. A man with hair the same colour as Hux’s fur. He was tall and thin and Rose called him ‘Armitage.’ The man licked Rose’s face, much to Hux’s dismay. So when the man tried to pet him, Hux bit him so hard he needed ten stitches. Whatever stitches were. He assumed it was bad because Rose attempted to scold him. That didn’t last long though. He won her over with his large sad eyes. A pride swallowing ruse of course but an effective one. Hux was very pleased with himself and assumed the man was out of the picture, so when he came back a few days later, Hux realised he would have to return to his old ways to rid himself of this unwanted guest. 

He hadn’t managed to follow through on his murder plot with the other male, but he was certain that he would be able to find a way to rid himself of this pitiful creature once and for all.

Everyone always underestimated cats, he was sure this man would be of the same mindset and it would be his downfall. 

_Foolish human, your end is near… Oh, he brought chicken._

Hux decided his execution would be stayed. 

_For now…_

**********


End file.
